So You Cheated?

So you cheated, she found out, & now you want her back?

I'm not going to tell you how I feel about you at this moment mostly because you are here. The fact that you want to get her back tells me you've realized you're a douche and probably beat yourself up enough without me adding insult to injury.

However, before we begin, let me just say that if you are a repeat offender GTFO!! I will not be the woman who helps you waste a wonderful woman's time simply because you are too selfish and impulsive to stop the ish. Moreover, I will not be the one who helps you get her back so you can continue be a pig!

Now that that's out of the way, I have good news and I have bad news for you. I'll start with the bad news...

Your now ex-girlfriend is pissed, I mean really pissed and there is really no explaining how pissed and hurt she is with everyday words that don't include profanity.

Yes. It is that bad. Which I am sure you already knew because, again, you are here. I am sure you've tried to beg, plea and apologize like you never have.

I did say there was good news though, didn't I?... Now listen very closely to this; as strange as it may sound some women want to forgive cheaters. YES you read that correctly- She wants to forgive you!!

However, you will have to work for it and it won’t be easy. 

I did devise a plan for guys like you. Smart guys who realize their mistakes that is :) It is important that you follow these steps closely. Each one is important and vital in getting her back.

 

Step One: Give her space

You cannot- I repeat- CANNOT expect to get her back if you do not give her time to recover. Also it is just very unhealthy for the both of you to jump back in without forgiveness and rebuilding that trust that is now lost. If you want a long lasting (eventually marriage) type of relationship you both need to heal. I say both because you have some work to do as well. It is up to you to decide how long that is. I mean I don't know her; you do, so you need to decide whether she needs 30 days, 60 days, 90 days or longer.

Step Two: Work On Yourself

This is self-explanatory. During this time you are giving her space you need to go over everything that caused you to make such rash decisions. I am not fond of people who make excuses for actions. You make your own choices. For every action there is a reaction and this is the price you pay when you cheat. You have to understand that YOU were the one who messed up but there is a reason you did. You either don't love her or just didn't think about her feelings at the moment. If you don't love her and you realize that at this point then just let her go. She deserves someone who will love her and eventually marry her, every woman does.

 Step Three: Cut Off The Relationship(s)

This is probably the second most important step (if not the first). It doesn't matter if you cheated with a stranger or your best friend; you need to cut all ties of that relationship(s). Now if you feel the relationship(s) is (are) more important than the one you just ruined, please read no further. 

This is important because:

1. If you get her back she needs to feel secure in that it won’t happen again, 

2. If this person was really your friend you wouldn't have cheated with them, 

3. Cutting them off will stop you from making the same stupid decision again.

Once you get her back, if you get her back, she will ask :"So, how is (so and so)?" and we wouldn't want her to leave you all over again because you could do something so simple to show her she is more important.

Step Four: Show Commitment Like Never Before

Here is another self-explanatory step. Show her just how committed you are. This can range from sending her gifts/flowers to talking about your future. Taking steps toward "the next step" which could be moving in together or getting married. You don't want to bombard her with begging but you still want to show her you care and want to make things work. This is also where you show how committed to changing you are. If you cheated while at a party or a bar you have to understand that those things should be restricted (if not completely for-fitted) at least for a little while. You see, every time she thinks about your betrayal she thinks about the possibility of history repeating itself when you go out to those places. If you want her that bad this is where you will show her. I am not saying to completely change yourself but somethings gotta give if you want her back.

Step 5: Rebuild

So this is it! You finally got her to agree on a date, and like I said before, she will surely ask you how the person you cheated on her with is doing. Hopefully you were very smart and decided to cut the person off (not just pretend to cut them off) so you would simply answer by saying "she and I aren't friends anymore so I couldn't answer that. This is where you begin to "WOW" her again. Whatever you did before obviously worked so you can go down that same path. Hopefully this time it continues throughout the relationship.

This will not work for everyone and if you can’t get her back the decisions you made that go you here are something you’ll have to live with.

(All photos courtesy of Google.com)